I received my yearly review at work last Wednesday.  It went quite well… I was very flattered at what people said about me.  After reading the written review, my boss took the time to express her appreciation of my work, and my reliability.  She mentioned in particular, the progress I’ve made in my sick-leave hours (I’d had a hard previous year and my leave-bank had almost been empty).  It really made her happy that she knew that she could depend on my presence here at work.

At least, I think that’s what she said… It was hard to concentrate, since my ear had started throbbing that morning.  It was unfortunately ironic timing that I left sick shortly thereafter and took the next two days off with an ear infection.  Now, the ear is feeling better, but I’ve come down with a terrible cold.  Oh well… I don’t intend to miss work this coming week for a simple cold.  I’ll drag my raw & chapped little nose into work and stick it to the grindstone (Okay, alright… raw & chapped BIG nose!).  My co-workers will all glare at me, worried that my contagions are threatening their sick-leave bank, but I’ve got far too much work waiting for me.  I can’t afford to rest further.

Also, coincidentally timed right after my review, will come my memo to Administration, asking for a re-evaluation of my position.  An anonymous co-worker has taken me aside and suggested that I should be making a lot more money.  I’m not greedy, but this person has a great argument, and since I’m at the top of my pay-scale, it’s the only way I’ll see another raise short of finding another job.

I’ve thought a lot about this for the past few days.  Why is it that, if left to my own devices, I never would have thought to do this?  Why am I always content to work within the confines of the world around me?  Some of the most interesting events of my life have happened when I’ve chosen to veer off-course… you’d think I’d rock the boat more often.  But no, I always go with the flow.

Rock the boat… Go with the flow… Why are there so many nautical clichés?  I suppose it’s a fairly good comparison.  Billy Joel and Garth Brooks have both gone platinum with singles about a river of dreams.  And if you buy that a dream is like a river, then it’s not too far a stretch to admit that life is like an ocean.  This ocean of life is sometimes calm and sometimes stormy, and with a little skill and experience you can navigate through the waters and lead a great life.  But event the best sailors are cautions, knowing that the ocean is perfectly capable of capsizing any vessel that’s in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If life is an ocean, then I’d like to think of myself as a sailboat upon it.  “Going with the flow” or capturing the winds to pull me toward my destination.  Not all of us are sailboats… my anonymous co-worker, she who gave me the aforementioned advice, is much more like an Arctic Ice-Breaker, plowing through all obstacles relentlessly toward her goals.  There are also plenty of jet-ski-ers, they all go super-fast and have lots of fun, but have to stay close to shore and require a lot of fuel.  And we all know the occasional oil-barge, who eventually will crash and hurt not only themselves, but will also pollute our waters.

I realize that I’m flattering myself with this comparison.  While some people may hope to be a yacht, a cruise ship or maybe even a schooner, I think most of us would prefer to be sailboats.  Nobody wants to admit to being a rowboat or the Titanic.  If I were to be honest with myself, I’d have to admit that I might just be life-raft adrift at sea, completely at the ocean’s mercy.   …Or that I’ve been below-deck so long, ignoring the world above, that I have no idea what type of boat I’m in or where I’m headed.

Well, wherever I’m going, it’s clear that I’ve exhausted too many supplies trying to catch this metaphor…  I’d better head into port and re-stock.

Cheers!