It’s an odd situation to find yourself… Dangling off a small airplane several thousand feet above the ground. There was something just really surreal about the whole thing.
My instructor was sitting in the doorway of the airplane. He yelled at me: “Arch!”
This was the command to let go. It’s a reminder to adopt the proper skydiving posture after you let go of the plane. In this small of an airplane, there’s no jumping out the door, you’d hit your head on the underside of the wing… So instead, they have their jumpers climb out onto the wing-strut of the plane (a supporting bar that runs from the under-side of the wing to the base of the airplane), and just dangle there until instructed to let go, as I had just been directed to do.
But I was having technical difficulties. I couldn’t get my fingers to loosen their hold. It wasn’t that I was afraid, I’d been wanting to skydive for several years now. I couldn’t wait to experience this. “Adrenaline junkie” is hardly a first impression that anyone would get from me. Indeed, I usually have little interest in “X-TREEME!!!!” experiences… I find that living on the edge dulls my senses to the subtleties in life that I love so much. But somehow, I got skydiving under my skin. I wanted to experience this… I wanted the ultimate adrenaline rush. But now that I was here, I couldn’t seem to get things going. My fingers stopped taking orders from my brain… they had some sort of manual override.
I think my fingers just felt wrong about the whole thing. This was so unnatural, to willingly let go of a plane and knowingly send themselves, along with the rest of my body, plummeting toward earth at a frightening rate. I asserted my mind upon them again, but still couldn’t make them obey. I mentally imagined lifting one finger at a time from the airplane, but still, nothing.
My instructor yelled at me again: “Arch!!!”
“I’m trying!!!!” I yelled back, against the wind rushing in my face.
My interior struggle continued, yet still to no avail. My instructor surveyed the scene. It was clear that nothing was happening, it was the end of the day the sun would be setting soon, and we were getting out of range of our target, he needed me to go now or simply call it off. He couldn’t know the nature of the struggle my hands and I were having, he could only see that I was unable to comply with his command. I wonder if he considered his options, whether it occurred to him to have me climb back in the plane, or if it was just standard policy for him to do what he did. That is: TO PULL MY RIPCORD SO THAT MY PARACHUTE WOULD OPEN AND YANK ME OFF THE PLANE!
I can’t say as I blame him, and I have no hard feelings. God only knows how long it would have taken me to work it out with my mutinous digits. But I don’t know that I’ll ever be more shocked by any course of action that someone decides to take.
I didn’t get to experience free-fall, the ultimate adrenaline rush has still evaded me. But my slow flight through the beautiful countryside brought me an intense sense of pleasure and awe, which filled me from my toes all the way to my fingertips.

7 comments
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February 18, 2008 at 2:50 pm
gail
your fingers were RIGHT! i could never, ever jump out of a plane, it’s hard enough to ride in one. the beautiful countryside part sounds great
February 18, 2008 at 7:54 pm
brilliant monster
having seen how long of a process it was to let brandy poke me with her needle, you KNOW my ass is never jumping out of a plane. maybe we can bond somewhere in adrenaline middle ground. what do you say?
February 18, 2008 at 7:56 pm
brilliant monster
on*
February 18, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Brandy
Remember how I was supposed to be jumping off the plane with you but I flaked out? My fingers refused to even make the phone call to schedule the class. But they sure were eager to stick you with a needle today, mwaahaahaha!
February 19, 2008 at 4:01 am
moonbeammcqueen
Oh wow. I wonder how many people that instructor has pushed out of a plane.
Are you ever going to do it again?
February 19, 2008 at 10:52 am
Adam
Gail - My fingers appreciate your support. They had never before and have never since acted on their own behalf…. which I’m very thankful of, considering they do all my typing… but I think they feel pretty damn unappreciated after I became so angry with them over their embarrassing little protest on the plane.
Chey - Yes, I think our friendship can survive well without parachutes and needles. If “adrenaline middle ground” doesn’t provide any workable leads, I’m completely open to “relaxing pastimes” or even “lazy-ass couch-potatoism”.
Brandy - yes, I remember well how you were going to be there… but I’m thankful that you didn’t witness my little death-grip. The last thing I need is for people to actually know that it happened!!! As for your needles… you were right, they’re so small they don’t hurt, your point was made. And thanks for not injecting me with insulin. But, let’s never do that again, okay? I’d rather jump out of a plane.
Moonbeam - The same question has been going through my mind every time I think of that day. He seemed awfully pleased with himself, laughing out loud at his little “joke”. I may someday work up the nerve to try it again, but I think I’ll be looking for a different instructor. Do you know of any good ways to filter out the sadists?
March 15, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Greg
If he hadn’t yanked that cord you would have been writing about how disappointed you are that you’d blown the opportunity. Besides, it’s hilarious!
G