Author’s note: Please allow me to interrupt our regularly scheduled programming with a pathetic attempt to discredit my heckling toddler… I have another installment of “Awkward Love” due, and I’ve already put it off once, but it’s best not to rush these things. And since I live in constant fear of running out of things to write about, I try to seize these little anecdotes when they present themselves… sometimes it works wonderfully, other times, not so much.

“Daddy? What’s your hair doing?” My 2 year old daughter, Maia, asked me.

“I just got my hair cut,” I told her, “do you like it?”

She frowned. Frowned! “You need your hat.”

As if I’m not self-conscious enough about my hair! …the little brat. I know it’s fallacious to ignore the message and attack the credibility of the messenger, but it’s not as if her hair is any great example of style. She has nothing but wispy hint of hair that floats around her head, except where glued down with jelly.

She wants to give me fashion advice!? She spends most of her time naked! And I’ve seen her dress herself… the horror! Whatever method she uses to choose her clothing is a complete mystery to me, I’ve seen an ensemble which included a Sunday dress, holey jeans, a polyester scarf from off one of her stuffed animals, my porkpie hat, and her sister’s snow boots.  Somehow I don’t think she’s the person to tell me how to accessorize!

Maia’s trying to pretend it never happened now. Like she didn’t mean insult me… Hmmmphf! She’s jumping in my lap and asking me to read to her. She told me: “I love you Daddy!” I think we might be in an abusive cycle. But what to do? I pick up the book and tell her: “Just keep your frizzy little head out of my face while I’m reading.”