I’m told, not infrequently, that I have rather depressing taste in music. This is an accusation that always takes me a little by surprise, as I don’t consider my music at all saddening. I find it mellow and soothing. Invariably though, I’ll play a tune to lift my spirits, and immediately see others around me come crashing to the ground. At work, for example, I may turn on a little Concrete Blonde, and just as the melody starts to carry me away…
♫ Hey, hey, goodbye ♫
…a co-worker will walk by and say: “God Adam! This is dismal!”
“Really? You think?”
♫ Tomorrow Wendy’s going to die-i-i-ie ♫
I suppose dozens of friends, family, and co-workers can’t all be mistaken. But even my selections in uplifting songs have come into question. Barenaked Ladies’ Hello City, Lucinda Williams’ Can’t Let Go, Toby Lightman’s Holding Me Down¹, & Eric Clapton’s River of Tears²… It’s beyond reason!
Still though, even my preference in rousing music seems to lean toward bluesy tunes, doesn’t it? And that’s just a small selection of my repertoire. My baseline of musical choices consists of slow, rhythmic melodies like Mark Knopfler’s What It Is, Brandi Carlile’s Have You Ever, & Van Morrison’s Into the Mystic. Songs that I love in the core of my soul, but which have inspired my friends to put the suicide hotline³ on speed dial.
When I turn on a little David Gray or Otis Redding, I can feel each pluck of the guitar string resonate deep inside me, as if it’s tethered to my heart. It’s not a sad feeling I get… it’s harmonic, consoling, transcendental…
I’m a mellow, easy-going person by nature, so it would make sense that my music would reflect that. I do have friends though, who believe that I listen to such somber hymns to lather a state of mournfulness. These friends try to wax melancholic with me, sharing sorrowful tales & offering new disheartening carols. I can’t say that this displeases me, I’ve found quite a few gems this way, but sometimes I have to shake my head with their uneducated choices.
I’ve been told, for example, that Evanescence is unquestionably the ultimate score in depression’s soundtrack. More than one acquaintance has had to discard their album before the music swallowed them into despair. Obviously intrigued, I investigated the matter and found the band completely wanting of such power… It just didn’t work.
Eager to show my friends the error of their ways, I turned on Tracy Chapman’s The Promise. I closed my eyes and let Tracy’s soft crooning to her lost love carry me away and by the time she reached her first chorus…
♫ Remembering… ♫
♫ Your touch… ♫
♫ Your kiss… ♫
♫ Your warm embrace… ♫
…I was on cloud nine. My friends however were rifling through drawers, trying to find razor blades or a bit of rope long enough to tie a noose or pills with which they could suitably overdose.
Amateurs.
¹Her acoustic version, that is… the main release of this song was too “pop” for my taste, whereas the acoustic version is bluesy and lovely.
²OK, I have to admit, River of Tears is not an uplifting tune, and actually it’s not even amongst my beloved ballads …it’s not a bad tune, just not a favorite of mine… I just put it here, because I thought the title sounded pretty funny amongst these so-called “happy” songs. I do however LOVE Clapton’s Fall Like Rain, and I do think it’s quite inspiring, though others find the “tears falling like rain” theme somewhat morose… sigh.
³1-800-SUICIDE… just in case you’re actually clicking these links and listening to my songs. That’s 1-800-784-2433.
1-800-784-2433
17 comments
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March 23, 2008 at 10:02 am
Nimish Batra
Morning Bell – Amnesiac and Kid A – both albums.
Radiohead are paranoid.
Their “happy” song consists of Thom Yorke crooning “pull me out of the aircrash, pull me out of the lake.”
March 23, 2008 at 10:39 am
brilliant monster
superior. this may be your best post yet. like so many of the songs you referenced, you’ve wasted nary a word in this sublime, taut, masterpiece.
while your music has, at times, challenged my primal self-preservation instinct, you have also opened my eyes and changed my life with your impeccable standard. i was just listening to babylon II before i read this entry, and i was literally thanking you in my mind for introducing me to david gray. i couldn’t help but wonder where i’d be without him.
i sure as hell would be nowhere without you.
March 23, 2008 at 11:42 am
Brandy
Ah…Tomorrow Wendy is an interesting choice for Easter Sunday. Particularly this verse:
“I told the priest, don’t count on any second coming.
God got his ass kicked the first time he came down here slumming.
He had the gall to come the gall to die and then to forgive us.
No I never wonder why…just wonder what he thought it would get us.”
I can usually handle your music just fine, so long as I have a Zebra, Tamacun, Creeque Alley, Hurricane Eye, Elevation, Gum Boots chaser nearby.
PS-Concrete Blonde was mine first!
March 23, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Jacob
While our musical selections themselves would invariably differ, I too, share this penchant for haunting melodic interludes. Too often, in college, my dorm mates nervously knocked on my door, having heard me play the same sad song over and over for an hour or more, sure that they would be forced to discover my lifeless body, in a pool of my own sick. But, instead, they found me elated, on cloud nine, happily humming along, enraptured by my latest beautiful song obsession.
I can’t think of many off the top of my head. I am a sucker for Third Eye Blind’s Slow Motion.
“Later bathing in the afterglow
Two lines of coke I cut with Drano
And her nose starts to bleed
A most beautiful ruby red”
Sigh. It’s good shit.
March 23, 2008 at 3:29 pm
moonbeammcqueen
I like depressing music too sometimes. My friends call it “gas oven music,” because when they hear it, they want to put their heads in one.
I think Elliott Smith is my ultimate gas oven singer. I know it’s older stuff, but for some reason, I love it.
Hilarious post!
March 23, 2008 at 11:57 pm
gabrielle
i adore your commitment to your songs. it’s fabulous.
p.s. it was the footnotes, however, that dogged my cats! you’re the best!
March 24, 2008 at 2:10 am
cantueso
I do not know any of the songs you mention. However, it is rare to see somebody who can say why and how he likes a tune, very rare, and on blogs just non-existant.
As I told you probably, I am an almost daily Proust reader , and this is what he did for maybe about 4000 pages: find out why some things once appealed to him in a way that could not be explained by what they really were. And so he also analyzed a piece of music that had followed him around all his life.
March 24, 2008 at 9:19 am
Allison
Okay, you got me here. I am not familiar with a single song you listed. How unpolished and unvaried can I be? I blame it on my boon-dock roots. Country music was required listening, and it stuck.
I do appreciate you providing the hotline number very much. There are two songs currently circulating on country radio that practically have me reaching for a blade- “You’re Gonna Miss This” by Trace Adkins and “All American Girl” by Carrie Underwood. Adkins’ song is a directive to enjoy your kids when they’re little (and several other points in your life) because it goes too quickly. The Underwood song is about a father’s adoration for his daughter. My officemate is very sensitive to these songs as well…must share your hotline number with her.
March 24, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Adam
Nimish - Excellent suggestions, thanks! Keep ‘em coming!
Chey - So glad I didn’t kill you off, friend! Thank God we both agreed that Can’t Let Go was upbeat!
Brandy - Concrete Blonde was indeed yours, first. And, I believe you were also the one to give Chey Mr Gray. I can happily surrender these points, because it was I who introduced you to John Hiatt and Van Morrison.
Jacob - Listening to Third Eye Blind as I write this… lovely tempo. Wow, it’s incredible to think there might be others who share my love for dismal music, even if it’s of a different flavor. Undoubtedly though, we can find common ground with Madeleine Peyroux.
Moonbeam - I know Elliot Smith… good stuff. Is he “older stuff”? It’s of no consequence to me really… there’s no age limit to lovely music… Nina Simone? Billie Holiday? (not to be mistaken for aforementioned, lovely Ms. Peyroux)
Gab - Thank you so much! I think the footnotes added quite a bit of professionalism to the essay.¹
¹See?
Cantueso - I sometimes wish I could articulate why I like things, but the truth is, I rather like the mystery of not knowing why. …I wish I knew why that is.
Allison - and see, I was raised with Easy Listening… Neil Diamond & B J Thomas…. I had to branch out.
If you like country, then Can’t Let Go may appeal to you, as well as Brandi Carlile’s music …both are on the country side of rock. Glad you appreciated the public service announcement… I hope you never have to use it!
March 25, 2008 at 11:48 am
Lucky
For me, Music = Love
I LOVE it. And I love the way music affects everyone in a different way. I have music ADD – I listen to a little of this and a little of that.
March 25, 2008 at 6:28 pm
Adam
Lucky - I feel for music in exactly the same way. My musical preferences are also very eclectic… sure, I love the melancholy tunes and good bluesy rock, but I also tune in to classical, country, world folk, & countless other genres… whatever the mood calls for… I have so much music downloaded to my computer, I can listen to the gamut for a full two months without listening to the same song twice.
…Not that I ever do that, however. I have tendency to listen to the same 10-20 songs endlessly until I either grow sick of them, or another mood shifts my musical selections.
March 26, 2008 at 12:41 am
Jacob
yeah. Madeleine Peyroux.
Sigh.
She is amazing. Life has never been quite the same since the day when first I heard her voice. And in French? Nothing better.There are only a handful of singers, a certain class, like her, whose voices are so good as to be haunting. Karen Carpenter? Peggy Lee? Patsy Cline? Fiona Apple? Ella, Billie, there are others, but only a few. Many may have powerful instruments, yes, but these women, have powerful souls.
And your use of foot notes is as hysterical as it is practical.
Laptop computer: $800
DSL:$50
The confidence to bring footnotes back, on your blog: Priceless.
March 26, 2008 at 5:53 am
gail
i always enjoy your talented writings. i don’t know any of the songs you listed either. i would not call myself a lover of music….i am a lover of a very few number of bands, and a hater of many, lol. thanks for sharing what is clearly a true love.
March 27, 2008 at 9:06 am
Nimish Batra
How about the song (Nice Dream) ?
It’s a lilting, tantalising song. Soft almost.
It starts with “They love me like a brother…” – amazing really.
Then goes on to conduct some of the most horrible nightmares in simple verse – “She said she’d love to come home, but, the sea would, electrocute her soul…”
It’s called (Nice Dream).
Irony – Iron fortified songs to beat Anaemia.
Or how about You And Whose Army?
It’s a song of the defeated rising up to go off in a blind glorious rage!
I’m a fanboy. http://nimishbatra.wordpress.com/category/radiohead/
I try to interpretate songs. Keeps me happy.
March 27, 2008 at 9:07 am
Nimish Batra
Ooh how about the song Lucky – “Kill me Sarah, kill me again, with love, I feel my luck can change…”
March 28, 2008 at 4:18 pm
David
It’s scary how much I identify with this post. First, I second Nimish’s Radiohead obsession. Second, I am also one of those people whose music drives others away, first for being depressing, second for being annoying, whiny, and cloying.
I’ve long since learned not to inflict it on others, but have also developed some retorts to the bobbleheads who can only listen to shiny happy music. None come to mind right now, but lots of songs do. However I don’t want to fight your list with my list.
But there’s this … the other day my wife and daughter were looking at the umpteenth bridal clothing website (daughter’s getting married this summer) and this site had music looping in the background. You’d never guess in a billion years what music! Wedding March? Nope. Eine Kleine Nachtmusik? Nope. Some romantic Russian? Nope. Rossini? NOPE!
Adagio for Strings, by Samuel Barber!!!!! PEOPLE! Could there be any wronger music for a wedding themed website?!?
April 8, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Adam
Jacob - Speaking of French, Pink Martini has quite a few lovely songs that should have made my list. So depressing to have to choose.
Gail - Thank you! Keep loving & hating music, it’s a vital part of life!
Nimish - I owe you a debt of gratitude for supplementing my musical obsession. Thank you for all your suggestions.
David - Adagio for Strings by Samuel Barber? Are they a successful business?!