I’ve been out of touch for a while. I’ve lost contact with many friends & family members, and have sorely neglected my writing. But it’s not that I’m lazy, I’ve just been way too busy to keep up with it all.

Late last Fall, I got sick of my job & my mundane existence, so I did what any mature adult would do in such circumstances; I ran off & joined the circus. It wasn’t an easy transition, what with my terrible fear of clowns & all (not to mention my complete lack of skills), but its been an incredible experience. I tried to convince them that I belong in a sideshow as “The Freak Hairline”, but they didn’t have room there. Thus, I had to start out as a janitor of sorts. Fortunately, living with Maia for the past 4 years has given me considerable experience cleaning up animal waste. Eventually, I was promoted to ticket-taker—after a lot of hard work and the fortunate onset of the previous job-holder’s osteoporosis.

The kids have thrived in this environment. Addison has a truly scientific intellect. He runs the lighting and sound in most shows and does all the repairs on the clowns’ itty-bitty car. But still, on occasion, when another performer is down with illness or injury, he’ll fill in with tumbling & gymnastics. Rose has always loved animals, and has taken to taming wild-cats. The ring-master says he’s never seen anything like it, even most professional cat-trainers won’t go near tigers, but some of our menagerie have claimed to have heard these cats purring in Rosie’s presence. And Maia, my God… she belongs in the circus. She continually astounds us with the most terrifying, death-defying feats: with no regard to her personal safety, she’ll fling herself from heights that make even the most experienced trapeze artists shiver; she ingests all sorts of odd & disgusting objects: the idea of which make sideshow geeks projectile-vomit; and she’s recently taken up knife-throwing.

I haven’t had any regrets with our new life. We’ve done astonishing things, and seen amazing sights; much of which could never have happened in my ordinary life. Anything is possible, isn’t it? These past few months have been wonderful, really.

I wish you all the best. Please don’t worry about me, even if you don’t hear from me for a while. God only knows when I’ll have the chance to write again.

**If you haven’t figured it out already, this essay is almost entirely false. Only the colored text is factual.