A page dedicated to those things which really get under my skin. The list goes in no particular order… the inductees are merely subjects which have brought themselves to the forefront of my mind whatever week it was when they were added to the list.
March 15, 2008: MARCH 2ND’S “HALL OF FAME” ENTRY
“Spring” was a cop-out, I can’t deny it. I couldn’t think of a single thing to say, so I threw it in at the last minute.
“It’s a beautiful world”? …gag.
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March 2, 2008: DR SEUSS
Don’t get me wrong… I actually really enjoy most of Dr. Seuss’s work, but occasionally I find his work terribly disturbing. Tonight, for example, I was reading One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish to Maia, and we came to the verse: “We like our Mike and this is why: Mike does all the work when the hills get high.” The picture accompanying this passage is disturbing to say the least. Mike is a big hairy creature, looking like a cross between an ape and a bear, and the look on his face is a grin of pure psychotic sadism… he’s going to do unspeakable things to those children when I close this book, I just know it.
I’m going to have nightmares.
I’m also scared shitless of Jim in Hop on Pop.
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February 26, 2008: BLUETOOTH
With everyone seemingly carrying on conversations with themselves, how am I to spot the lunatics?
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February 16, 2008: SUGAR ANTS
Every year, these pests come up from wherever they nest and invade my house, wherever I live at the time. I move a lot, yet they find me. Even when keeping my countertops meticulously clean, they roam around it… whether they’re just having a lovely morning stroll, or stopping in to remember the glorious day they found a slice of half-eaten birthday cake left forsaken on a saucer by the sink, I cannot say.
They cannot be destroyed. Sure, sure, you can kill them, but it’s a losing battle. We’ve bred them immune to most poisons with our repeated attempts to eradicate them. They’re our unwelcome houseguests, and there’s nothing for it.
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February 9th, 2008: MCAFEE SECURITY CENTER
This is undoubtedly unfair, as I’m sure Norton and many other companies are just as irritating, but it’s McAfee that’s been pre-installed on my last two computers, and it’s annoying as hell. I can’t log on without it throwing pop-ups at me constantly. Yeah, I suppose if I registered it, gave them my credit card, and promised them my first-born, they’d let me the hell alone. …And maybe I would have if it hadn’t been such a damned pain in the ass about it. But seeing as it’s so obnoxious, I’ll be damned if I’m going to use it, I’m switching to the mild & complacent AVG freeware, thank you very much.
…But wait… have you ever tried uninstalling McAfee? You can hear the program laughing at you. Now that you’ve made an attempt to get rid of it, it sends more pop-ups your way, telling you that there’s something wrong with the installation. &$!@*%&@#$*(!
Adam
3 comments
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February 18, 2008 at 8:08 pm
brilliant monster
i so feel your pain, as my house is apparently ant mecca. i suspect yours are just passing through, en route to mi casa.
March 15, 2008 at 7:27 am
petersonion
Yes yes, I have have sugar ants, too. I have given up trying to do anything about it, I am just hoping to be out of my apartment before they revolt, overwhelm me and throw me out.
Haha! but wont they be surprised then, for who will leave the dirty dishes out for them to feast on when I am gone?
March 15, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Greg
The willamette valley was intended to be the geographic center of the ant presence on Earth. They were meant to have this place to themselves, to evolve into an intelligent society. We’re merely a bump in the road for them..